I want to..

24Mar05
I want to write, but I don?t know what I want to write about? I am not interested in the stuff I have started, and don?t have anything new in my mind that so desperately must ooze from my fingers, making my new laptop all sticky and the virtual page fattened with my weird words.

Apparently, when I am the most mercurial, I have nothing to say, no way to use it.

But, for some reason, I have been feeling my form lately. I don?t know if I am getting better at iit feels so to me at least. When I have an idea, that is, the words seem to follow form well enough, or is it that the form shapes the words without my knowing it? something like that. When I have something that I?m all jazzed about, it all comes out well, falls into a good place. But then, I have never really do much editing anyway. But I think I might be doing better. But I can say that from my own POV, without any outside perspective.

I sent know where it come from, how I managed to get this way so suddenly, or something like that. it kind of seems like I go through such periods now and then, but usually they are short lived or I go through times when I get all these ideas and don?t get into working them into any kind of form. Sometimes they don?t get around to even writing them down.

But where it comes from is still a mystery. You are supposed to read a lot to be a good writer, right? Well, I don?t read much fiction, I lose interest after a while? they never tell me anything I might want to know. So if I don?t read fiction, how can I write it, right? I would love to write nonfiction, but I don?t know what to write about? at least not with any great authority. And I am not sure that I know enough about anything

that?s really too bad, because I have as much of a craving to write nonfiction as much as I do that short fiction I do more often. I suppose I could just write nonfiction in a sort of practice thing Almost like that dream analysis I have been doing? very interesting, and too preoccupying…

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